Chapter 5
Andrew’s words hit me hard. Like a groin shot, or a kick to the gut.
“If this is because I haven’t been in school I’ll eas---“
“It’s not because you haven’t been in school, David,” Andrew cuts me off.
“It’s because I’m blind…” I hiss, tears springing up in my eyes with the quick realization.
Standing up, I’m out the door before he can catch me. Striding across the yard, I break into a sprint and run down the street, towards anywhere but with all of them. None of them understands. None of them ever will. I follow the road until the familiar sound of rushing water beckons to me.
Slipping off into the trees, I pick my way around until I find my place by the creek. It’s just a rock in the middle of the water, nothing special to anyone else. But it’s a sanctuary, a place of peace for me. I jump out onto the rock, and lower my hand to the water. It’s cool today, and rushes around my fingertips as if I’m not there. The trees are whispering in the breeze, and the sun is warm on my shoulders.
With the breeze comes the scent of trees, moss and some college kids upstream smoking weed. I know the Trent’s are probably looking for me, probably worried out of their minds, but I don’t care. I’ve been cheated on, lied to, beaten up, and for what? To lose my sight and my girlfriend? It’s just not worth it. It’s not worth my struggle, just like I’m not worth anything. Screw my talents, someone else can have them.
“I figured I would find you out here,” a familiar voice calls from behind me.
“Just go the fuck away Sam,” I snap, spinning around, and jumping to stand on the sand right infront of where I know she is standing.
“Why don’t you make me?” she leers, taunting me. It works, and I lunge forward connecting with her, and knocking her to the ground.
“Why?” I yell enraged at her, “Why’d you do it? Why’d you do that to me? How could you?”
“It was easy. You were so absorbed in tech, and your art, and your music that you never had time for me.” She replies, shoving me off of her.
“I spent every free minute I had with you. I purposely blew everyone, even my family, off. For you,” I hiss, turning away.
“You were a self-absorbed bastard David. You deserved it,” Sam replies standing up and brushing herself off.
“And you were a lying, cheating bitch! Did you ever mean anything you said? Or did you just date me because it made you look good?” I fire back.
“More of the second option,” she says, yet another tone I don’t recognize greeting me.
“Then it was never real. None of it,” I hiss, leaping back out onto my rock and sitting down. New, fresh tears spring up into my eyes, but I ignore them, and brush them away. Sam doesn’t deserve them. She never deserved any of it. Not my affection, not my happiness, not even the heartfelt notes and drawings I would stick in her notebooks. Pulling out my Ipod, I slip it into my pocket, and into my ear, and turn it on. The song that starts playing is “Home” by Three Days Grace. The one song that that says exactly what I’m feeling.
Pain fills my heart as I lower my head towards the water and rest it in my hands.
“No matter how hard I try,
You’re never satisfied
This is not a home,
I think I’m better off alone
You always disappear
Even when you’re here
This is not my home”
I faintly hear Sam saying something.
“I think I’m better off alone
Home, home, this house is not a
Home, home, this house is not a home
I think I’m better off alone”
I can feel tears running down my face like tiny razorblades, cutting deep into my cheeks.
“This is not my home
I think I’m better off alone”
When the song stops, I’m alone, the rushing of the water sounding far away, and the breeze from the trees caressing my shoulders. I wish I could see the color changing of the Autumn leaves, the soft, pale green moss on the rocks. I can hear better than anyone, and even sense movement, but to lack my sight just sucks. I’m missing the beautiful little things.
“If this is because I haven’t been in school I’ll eas---“
“It’s not because you haven’t been in school, David,” Andrew cuts me off.
“It’s because I’m blind…” I hiss, tears springing up in my eyes with the quick realization.
Standing up, I’m out the door before he can catch me. Striding across the yard, I break into a sprint and run down the street, towards anywhere but with all of them. None of them understands. None of them ever will. I follow the road until the familiar sound of rushing water beckons to me.
Slipping off into the trees, I pick my way around until I find my place by the creek. It’s just a rock in the middle of the water, nothing special to anyone else. But it’s a sanctuary, a place of peace for me. I jump out onto the rock, and lower my hand to the water. It’s cool today, and rushes around my fingertips as if I’m not there. The trees are whispering in the breeze, and the sun is warm on my shoulders.
With the breeze comes the scent of trees, moss and some college kids upstream smoking weed. I know the Trent’s are probably looking for me, probably worried out of their minds, but I don’t care. I’ve been cheated on, lied to, beaten up, and for what? To lose my sight and my girlfriend? It’s just not worth it. It’s not worth my struggle, just like I’m not worth anything. Screw my talents, someone else can have them.
“I figured I would find you out here,” a familiar voice calls from behind me.
“Just go the fuck away Sam,” I snap, spinning around, and jumping to stand on the sand right infront of where I know she is standing.
“Why don’t you make me?” she leers, taunting me. It works, and I lunge forward connecting with her, and knocking her to the ground.
“Why?” I yell enraged at her, “Why’d you do it? Why’d you do that to me? How could you?”
“It was easy. You were so absorbed in tech, and your art, and your music that you never had time for me.” She replies, shoving me off of her.
“I spent every free minute I had with you. I purposely blew everyone, even my family, off. For you,” I hiss, turning away.
“You were a self-absorbed bastard David. You deserved it,” Sam replies standing up and brushing herself off.
“And you were a lying, cheating bitch! Did you ever mean anything you said? Or did you just date me because it made you look good?” I fire back.
“More of the second option,” she says, yet another tone I don’t recognize greeting me.
“Then it was never real. None of it,” I hiss, leaping back out onto my rock and sitting down. New, fresh tears spring up into my eyes, but I ignore them, and brush them away. Sam doesn’t deserve them. She never deserved any of it. Not my affection, not my happiness, not even the heartfelt notes and drawings I would stick in her notebooks. Pulling out my Ipod, I slip it into my pocket, and into my ear, and turn it on. The song that starts playing is “Home” by Three Days Grace. The one song that that says exactly what I’m feeling.
Pain fills my heart as I lower my head towards the water and rest it in my hands.
“No matter how hard I try,
You’re never satisfied
This is not a home,
I think I’m better off alone
You always disappear
Even when you’re here
This is not my home”
I faintly hear Sam saying something.
“I think I’m better off alone
Home, home, this house is not a
Home, home, this house is not a home
I think I’m better off alone”
I can feel tears running down my face like tiny razorblades, cutting deep into my cheeks.
“This is not my home
I think I’m better off alone”
When the song stops, I’m alone, the rushing of the water sounding far away, and the breeze from the trees caressing my shoulders. I wish I could see the color changing of the Autumn leaves, the soft, pale green moss on the rocks. I can hear better than anyone, and even sense movement, but to lack my sight just sucks. I’m missing the beautiful little things.