Chapter 3
When I wake up, I lay on my bed for a while. Rolling over off the bed, I get up and slip my shirt back on.
Padding downstairs in my socks, I pause in the hallway thinking. I know the kitchen is directly in front of me, and the music room is the first door on the left. Slipping in, I sit down at Mrs. Trent’s giant oak piano. Sliding my hand across the smooth wood of the cover, I lift it and brush the dust off of the keys.
I begin thinking of any song I could play, and only one song comes to mind; “She Is” by The Fray. Relaxing my fingers on the keys, I begin humming the lyrics to myself, and then start to play.
“You’re such a joke,” Sam’s voice comes from the doorway.
“She is everything I need, that I never knew I wanted, she is everything I want, that I never knew I needed,” I whisper along as I play, refusing to acknowledge her comment.
She snorts, and I listen to her walk away. Stopping on the last note, I realize I’m crying.
“You okay…?” Corin’s soft voice comes from the direction of the doorway.
“Naw bud, I’m fallin’ apart at the seams,” I whisper, turning to face him.
At one point, 8-year-old Corin had been my biggest fan. He had even told me once that he wanted Sam to marry me. I had laughed, and said to him, “maybe one day,” but now it’s never gonna happen. Besides, Sam probably has some new boyfriend wrapped around her finger anyways.
“Why?” I hear him walk over and sit beside me.
“I messed up bud… I never knew how much I needed or wanted her until she was gone. Now I don’t have my art, my heart, or my sight…” I answer hoarsely, wiping away the tears.
He starts nodding, bobbing up and down on the bed, and I realize he understands what I meant.
“She immediately started going out with Matt… I hate him. He just isn’t right for her at all. I honestly think she did it just to fill the void, and to hide her guilt. She thought you were the one who had been driving, and had crashed on purpose… She only changed her mind ‘bout that when you were talking in your sleep earlier,” Corin whispers, squeezing my hand, “We were all really worried about you.”
“Thanks bud,” I reply, hugging him.
“Anytime Shay; you know I love you like a brother,” he smiles, returning the hug.
“For nine, you’re pretty darn smart Corin,” I whisper.
I feel him squeeze my hand again and then walk away, leaving me all alone again. I lean back on the piano, deep in thought. So now she’s going out with Matt… Lucky guy… Staring straight into the darkness behind my eyelids, I try remembering what it’s like to see. I know I’m crying again and I turn back to the keys, starting “It Ends Tonight” by The All-American Rejects.
Halfway through the first verse, I hear footsteps go by the door, and another set approach me from behind a few seconds later.
“You can really stand to learn a lesson,” Matt’s rustic voice comes from behind me.
“If you’re going to hit me go ahead. I can’t stop you even if I wanted to,” I snap, not even breaking pace or turning to face him.
“And why is that?” he hisses, spinning me around. I hear him inhale sharply; the moonlight must be throwing odd shadows across my misshapen face. I can hear him shuffling around, and then the door opens and closes softly, leaving me in silence once again. Slipping out of the music room, I walk down the hall and up the stairs.
“Why are your parents even letting him stay here?” I hear Matt whisper in Sam’s room.
“Cause he’s blind and they were friends with his parents. They feel bad for him because no one wants him…” Sam replies, a tone I don’t recognize slipping into her voice.
“Well don’t worry ‘bout him baby, you’ve got me now,” Matt whispers. I can faintly hear him kissing her, and following it, a twinge of jealousy. Walking down the hallway, I slip into my room and sit on my bed. Resting my head in my hands, I sigh.
“You miss her don’t you?” Mr. Trent’s voice comes from the doorway.
“You were watching me… weren’t you?” I mumble into my sweatshirt.
“I was actually watching them and you happened to be there…” he whispers, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“Yea… I really do…” I mumble, not even looking up.
“I thought so… When I heard what you were playing earlier, I figured it out…” he whispers.
“It doesn’t do me any good though… It doesn’t change anything.” I hiss between clenched teeth, “I really messed up this time.”
“Can I tell you something without you getting mad?” he asks softly.
“Go ahead,” I mumble, raising my head slightly.
“This isn’t her first---“
“Dad!” Sam shouts, cutting him off as she walks into the room.
“Continue…” I prompt, sitting up, wanting to hear it now more than ever.
“This isn’t her first time going out with Matt. They were going out the whole time you were with her.”
Padding downstairs in my socks, I pause in the hallway thinking. I know the kitchen is directly in front of me, and the music room is the first door on the left. Slipping in, I sit down at Mrs. Trent’s giant oak piano. Sliding my hand across the smooth wood of the cover, I lift it and brush the dust off of the keys.
I begin thinking of any song I could play, and only one song comes to mind; “She Is” by The Fray. Relaxing my fingers on the keys, I begin humming the lyrics to myself, and then start to play.
“You’re such a joke,” Sam’s voice comes from the doorway.
“She is everything I need, that I never knew I wanted, she is everything I want, that I never knew I needed,” I whisper along as I play, refusing to acknowledge her comment.
She snorts, and I listen to her walk away. Stopping on the last note, I realize I’m crying.
“You okay…?” Corin’s soft voice comes from the direction of the doorway.
“Naw bud, I’m fallin’ apart at the seams,” I whisper, turning to face him.
At one point, 8-year-old Corin had been my biggest fan. He had even told me once that he wanted Sam to marry me. I had laughed, and said to him, “maybe one day,” but now it’s never gonna happen. Besides, Sam probably has some new boyfriend wrapped around her finger anyways.
“Why?” I hear him walk over and sit beside me.
“I messed up bud… I never knew how much I needed or wanted her until she was gone. Now I don’t have my art, my heart, or my sight…” I answer hoarsely, wiping away the tears.
He starts nodding, bobbing up and down on the bed, and I realize he understands what I meant.
“She immediately started going out with Matt… I hate him. He just isn’t right for her at all. I honestly think she did it just to fill the void, and to hide her guilt. She thought you were the one who had been driving, and had crashed on purpose… She only changed her mind ‘bout that when you were talking in your sleep earlier,” Corin whispers, squeezing my hand, “We were all really worried about you.”
“Thanks bud,” I reply, hugging him.
“Anytime Shay; you know I love you like a brother,” he smiles, returning the hug.
“For nine, you’re pretty darn smart Corin,” I whisper.
I feel him squeeze my hand again and then walk away, leaving me all alone again. I lean back on the piano, deep in thought. So now she’s going out with Matt… Lucky guy… Staring straight into the darkness behind my eyelids, I try remembering what it’s like to see. I know I’m crying again and I turn back to the keys, starting “It Ends Tonight” by The All-American Rejects.
Halfway through the first verse, I hear footsteps go by the door, and another set approach me from behind a few seconds later.
“You can really stand to learn a lesson,” Matt’s rustic voice comes from behind me.
“If you’re going to hit me go ahead. I can’t stop you even if I wanted to,” I snap, not even breaking pace or turning to face him.
“And why is that?” he hisses, spinning me around. I hear him inhale sharply; the moonlight must be throwing odd shadows across my misshapen face. I can hear him shuffling around, and then the door opens and closes softly, leaving me in silence once again. Slipping out of the music room, I walk down the hall and up the stairs.
“Why are your parents even letting him stay here?” I hear Matt whisper in Sam’s room.
“Cause he’s blind and they were friends with his parents. They feel bad for him because no one wants him…” Sam replies, a tone I don’t recognize slipping into her voice.
“Well don’t worry ‘bout him baby, you’ve got me now,” Matt whispers. I can faintly hear him kissing her, and following it, a twinge of jealousy. Walking down the hallway, I slip into my room and sit on my bed. Resting my head in my hands, I sigh.
“You miss her don’t you?” Mr. Trent’s voice comes from the doorway.
“You were watching me… weren’t you?” I mumble into my sweatshirt.
“I was actually watching them and you happened to be there…” he whispers, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“Yea… I really do…” I mumble, not even looking up.
“I thought so… When I heard what you were playing earlier, I figured it out…” he whispers.
“It doesn’t do me any good though… It doesn’t change anything.” I hiss between clenched teeth, “I really messed up this time.”
“Can I tell you something without you getting mad?” he asks softly.
“Go ahead,” I mumble, raising my head slightly.
“This isn’t her first---“
“Dad!” Sam shouts, cutting him off as she walks into the room.
“Continue…” I prompt, sitting up, wanting to hear it now more than ever.
“This isn’t her first time going out with Matt. They were going out the whole time you were with her.”